Bullying Basics: Red Flags, Prevention and Resources

Bullying Basics: Red Flags, Prevention and Resources

Contributed by Olga Rosado, Care Coordinator, PEP Connections and Melissa Jackson, Care Coordinator, PEP Connections

Nearly everyone has a story about being bullied at some point in their lives. Those who have experienced it, understand just how devastating it can be. It can pervade your thoughts; interfere with functioning school, home and in the community; and shatter your self-esteem. For some, the traumatizing impact of bullying sets up a lifetime of social and emotional challenges that can be difficult to overcome.

Sadly, the statistics on prevalence aren’t hopeful. According to the Centers for Disease Control, 1 in 5 high school students reported being bullied in the last year. Nearly 12 percent of public schools report that bullying happens at least once a week. It is most common in middle school (22%) then in high school (15%). Eight percent of primary schools report weekly bullying.[i]

What’s worse is that young people today don’t just see their bullies at school. The rise of social media and constant access to communication through smart phones means that bullying can occur around the clock. More than 15 percent of students in high school report experiencing cyber-bullying in the last year.[ii]

These statistics – and the fact that bullying has such devastating consequences – mean it is imperative that individuals who interact with young people understand bullying basics and know the actions they can take to prevent it or stop it.

What Does Bullying Look Like?

Bullying is behavior that is intended to hurt, harm or humiliate the target. Often, there is a power imbalance between the child who is bullying and the target. That power can take many forms such as social status, being physically larger, or as part of a group against an individual. Generally, young people who bully perceive their target as being vulnerable and get a sense of satisfaction from harming them.[iii]

There is more than one type of bullying. The types you are likely to see include physical bullying, emotional bullying and social bullying.

Physical Bullying

This type of bullying is often used to gain power over the victim. It can include hitting, pushing, kicking, punching or any type of physical interaction that causes harm. To be considered bullying, the actions must happen more than once and be intentional.

Emotional Bullying

Emotional bullying includes teasing, name calling, inappropriate sexual comments, and verbal or written threats. Using words to ostracize or tease a person can be just as detrimental – or even more so – than physical bullying. Cyber-bullying can fall into this category.

Social Bullying

This type of bullying includes excluding someone from groups or gatherings, spreading rumors about someone and embarrassing the target. Social bullying can make a child feel a loss of power or control and like they are being targeted.

Red Flags for Parents and Other Adults

Sometimes, young people who endure bullying don’t share their experience with an adult who can help. There may be several reasons for this such as fear of retribution if the bully finds out, shame or embarrassment, or concern that nothing will happen. Caregivers and teachers can watch for red flags that may suggest a child is experiencing bullying. Some of these include:

  • Changes in behavior
  • Acting withdrawn and isolating oneself
  • Poor school performance or bad grades
  • Changes in appetite – either not eating or eating too much
  • Somatic symptoms like stomach aches and headaches
  • Frequent, repeated desire to stay home from school
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Regressive behavior
  • Emotional reactions out of proportion to the circumstances
  • Withdrawal from devices (to avoid online bullying)
  • Bruises or injuries that are hard to explain

Bullying Prevention Strategies

Schools and teachers can adopt a variety of strategies that help minimize bullying. One effective tool is incorporating activities into the classroom that teach young people about bullying. Students can conduct Internet research, give presentations, participate in role-playing, complete creative writing assignments or attend classroom meetings to talk about peer relations.[iv] These activities can educate students about what bullying is, how to report it, related school or classroom rules, the impact of bullying on targets and what bystanders can do to help.

Also critical at the school level is ensuring that teachers and staff are trained. They should know what bullying is, what the school’s policies and rules are and how to enforce them.[v]

Another powerful tool in the anti-bullying toolkit is a strengths-based mindset, such as Re-ED, which is the founding philosophy at Positive Education Program. Focusing on what kids are good at not only helps them build confidence – a necessary attribute for standing up to a child who is bullying – but also sets the tone and models respectful interactions for all students. Encouraging young people to do what they love and participate in activities that make them feel good about themselves compounds this strengths-based approach. It also ties directly back to the Competence Makes a Difference Re-ED principle.

One of the most important ways to prevent bullying is to keep lines of communication open. Helping kids understand that they can talk to you about bullying means that when difficulties arise, a trusted adult is available to intervene.

Tactics for Addressing Bullying in the Moment

While schools and teachers can take the steps above to minimize bullying, young people and their teachers and caregivers need to know what they can do right now if they see or experience bullying.

Tactics for Young People
  • Use humor to deflect negative comments.
  • Say “stop” directly and confidently.
  • Walk away.
  • Tell a trusted adult.
  • Stay near adults during times when they are more at-risk of bullying.[vi]
Tactics for Adults who Witness Bullying
  • Intervene immediately.
  • Separate the kids involved.
  • Make sure everyone is safe.
  • Attend to any immediate medical or mental health needs.
  • Model respectful behavior when you intervene.
  • Don’t ignore it.
  • Don’t immediately try to sort out the facts.
  • Don’t ask other kids to explain what they saw publicly.
  • Don’t question those involved in front of other children.
  • Talk to the kids involved separately.
  • Don’t make the kids involved apologize or try to mend the relationship on the spot.[vii]

Resources

While the information above is helpful, it is far from a comprehensive look at the complexities of bullying. There are so many types of bullying, and its impacts can vary from person to person. Some children can shrug it off, while others suffer lasting damage. Sometimes, someone who engages in bullying behavior is also a target of bullying. Regardless of the situation though, the more information and knowledge you have about the subject, the better prepared you will be to respond. Fortunately, there are dozens of helpful resources to help educate adults and young people about the topic. Here are a few of our favorites.

Conclusion

Many of the children who receive care management through PEP Connections or who attend a PEP schools have experienced trauma. The impact of this trauma often makes these young people particularly vulnerable to bullying. While it is heart-breaking to be the target of a bully, or to watch someone experience bullying, there is hope. There are many steps both young people themselves and the adults in their lives can take to prevent and stop the bullying. Today, it’s more important than ever to take the time to educate yourself on the topic and the many ways you can be a champion for yourself or the children in your life.

 

 

[i] The Centers for Disease Control, “Preventing Bullying,” 2018. Preventing Bullying (cdc.gov) Accessed 11/22/2022.

[ii] Ibid.

[iii] National Bullying Prevention Center, “Questions Answered.” Questions Answered – National Bullying Prevention Center (pacer.org) Accessed 11/29/2022.

[iv] Stopbullying.gov. “Prevention at School,” 2017. https://www.stopbullying.gov/prevention/at-school. Accessed 11/30/22/

[v] Ibid.

[vi] Stopbullying.gov. “How to Prevent Bullying,” 2021. https://www.stopbullying.gov/prevention/how-to-prevent-bullying Accessed 11/30/22.

[vii] Stopbullying.gov. “Respond to Bullying,” 2021. https://www.stopbullying.gov/prevention/on-the-spot. Accessed 11/30/22.